- Avoid Going Crazy Over Photos
It is easy to feel nitpicky and maintain high expectations online. Apps like Tinder let you immediately judge users just as you would when browsing through Amazon in search of the best pair of sneakers. The sense of being in control and choosing is not only appealing, but also makes you feel powerful. However, you should fight it.
If you are looking for a real connection – a relationship with an individual that you hope to love and who will love you back in return – you need to bring your most empathetic and mature self to the project. That means not saying that while one of your matches is cute, you prefer blondes to brunettes and moving on to the next match. You would probably never behave in such a manner in person, so avoid doing it online.
- Avoid Obsessing About the Details
Refrain from worrying too much about the specifics: which books, movies, bars, or restaurants a potential date likes. A better idea would be to take in the broad strokes such as whether he/she loves reading or whether he/she lives in the same city as yourself.
Resist the urge to be consumed with the ideas that there’s somebody out there that perfectly corresponds to all your preferences and tastes. After all, many of your exes probably did not share your exact tastes, and 9 out of 10 times, it is probably not the reason why you broke up.
If you obsess too much about the little things, you will be doing yourself a great disservice by possibly passing over the profiles of those that might actually end up making you truly happy.
- Evaluate the Profile’s Tone
Tone is actually what matters when it comes to profile evaluation. You are probably trying to get a sense of what the person is truly like and this can be rather challenging. It is as difficult as an author to convey a character in a meaningful way – it is no less demanding for an individual reading, or writing dating profiles.
You need to read between the lines to get a sense of whether the individual appears well-adjusted – friendly pleasant, and reasonable. A person that you would most likely be attracted to if you were to meet them in person, even if you didn’t know their favorite artist.
Watch out for signs of bitterness, being snided, or even boastfulness. You should also watch out for insincerity: the individual who constantly claims to “absolutely love” their life just as is it, to be “totally and completely” satisfied with everything in it. Such people claim to have joined the dating site on a friend’s suggestion. Behaviors such as these suggest that the person might have trouble being honest about their true motives or vulnerabilities.
Paying close attention to the tone when reading profiles can help you identify some of the qualities that nobody ever admits to even though we don’t always know that we have them, unfortunately.
- Ignore Claims Made Regarding Personality
Ignore the vast majority of the individual’s claims about their personality. For instance, “I’m an optimist” or “I have a sense of humor about myself.” People tend to be incredibly unreliable when it comes to self-reporting.
That’s not just because they lie, but rather because the way we view ourselves usually bears little relation to how we are viewed by others. Furthermore, only external events provoke negative reactions, right? Humans are experts when it comes to self-justification.
It means nothing. The only explicit claims that you may consider taking at face value are factual such as location, education, age, and job. People tend to be simply too biased when it comes to the less tangible qualities.
Conversely, you should consider paying attention to the implicit aspects of a profile such as a sense of humor that rises to the surface. For instance, if you are asked about your strengths you can respond, “I’m responsible for refilling the Brita pitcher.” The great thing about such a response is that it says more about what you are like in conversation that any claim you can ever make of being a “funny individual.”
- Avoid Getting Too Attached Based on a Profile
No matter how much of an expert you have become when it comes to reading profiles, and no matter how well that guy or girl corresponds to your dream match, there’s still much you will not be able to glean until you are seated across them at a coffee shop.
It does not matter the number of delightfully winning asides the person has included in their profile about their dedication to their 90-year-old grandfather. Do you think that his passion for minor league baseball and hotdogs suggests that he is the kind of fun-loving, chill guy that you have always dreamed about dating? Find the best dating site for you at www.lovenet-jp.com.
You can learn a lot more from a person’s demeanor and manner – whether they make eye contact, the person’s tone when they speak, or even how often they smile. You also identify social niceties such as whether the individual is constantly checking their phone, the effort the individual makes to ask you questions, etc.
So much vital information is best disclosed in person. The goal should not necessarily be about finding your perfect match but simply to narrow down the possibilities to a reasonable number, and then meeting those people in real life.